In our previous publication, we included building relationships as one of the most important things in life. However, not every relationship is worth maintaining, but healthy ones. Therefore, while growing your social life, it is important to select the kind of people you bring into your heart.
There are some sets of friends, families, colleagues, and partners that you have to avoid. The reason you have to avoid them is because you don't need them in your life. They can't help you stay positive but negative and ruined. People in these categories can end up destroying you instead of adding the values that a good relationship brings.
How do you know who to avoid?
You know who to avoid by studying their characters, listening to what they say, and judging them based on their ideological, political, and social values. While behavior plays a big role in defining an individual, what one believes matters so much as well. Belief greatly influences thinking which in turn affects our behaviors. Those who have radical ideas can end up radicalizing you or changing you from who you truly are. Effective communication can help you to understand who you are dealing with and whether such an individual is worth a friend or not.
Note: You don't rush to avoid people because they misbehave, but you have to give them some time to adjust. You can also open up to them about your feelings perhaps they can behave better. Otherwise, avoid them.
Avoid those that belong to any of these categories of people:
1. Toxic individuals:
These are destroyers of good mood. Whenever they come around, chat, or call, your joy disappears. People in this category are bitter and do everything to annoy others. It seems they derive pleasure whenever you feel sad. Meanwhile, they don't care about how you feel. One of their problems is that they don't know how to control their anger because nagging has become part of their lives. What makes them happier is to find someone to exchange hatred.
If you have a toxic person, it is important to avoid him/her because toxicity can affect your attitude and make you do what you are not supposed to. Toxic people can deprive your emotional well-being and force you into constant anger which is not good.
Note: Do not blame toxic individuals for their behaviors neither hate them back. Some of them suffer from anxiety or some life experiences that have affected their attitudes. Inspired of hurting them, simply avoid them or offer help if you can.
Manipulators are people who like to take advantage of situations or create one to obtain whatever they want. They can pretend to be crying just to hurt you or make you take the blame. They can pretend to care when they want to milk you dry.
The story of Sampson and Delilah in the Holy Bible is an instance of a manipulator (Delilah) who pretended to love Sampson just to steal his secret. Most manipulators are either traitors, accusers, or blackmailers.
3. Emotional blackmailers and accusers:
Blackmailers and accusers are those who do everything to make you feel guilty. Such people make you feel like the bad guy and even go some miles to make others see you as the devil as well. They can offend you in silence but broadcast your response. Some of them like using social sentiment like gender or racial terms to take advantage of situations.
Many blackmailers are cheaters who instead of apologizing give certain excuses to make it seem like it is all your fault. "I cheat because he was always going to work without giving me his time", and "She does not dress well any longer since I married her, that is why I cheated". Those are common excuses of emotional blackmailers.
Many of them could be colleagues at work who find all means to bring you down through unnecessary reports and negative utterances. You truly need to avoid this category of people because they do not wish you well and can easily ruin your life. It's either they destroy you or attract haters to you. Yes, blackmailing is one of the major signs of hatred.
4. Masters of distraction:
Those in this category are nice and attractive but they bring distractions. The truth is that those who distract you may not deliberately want to do so, but that is what they end up doing. Some of them would mostly be people of the opposite sex or close friends who bring disruptions when you have something important to do.
There are ways to handle distractions and their agents but the best way is to be sincere to them. Make a time management plan and share your goals or timing with them. If they mean well, they will understand but if they don't, avoid them. A friend is not supposed to invite you to a nightclub when you have an exam the next day. That is an agent of distraction.
5. Energy drainers:
These are people in your life who often bring headaches and pressure. Each time they call you it is about something to make you fall under reckless pressure. Their action can lead you to anxiety which means you have to avoid them for the sake of your mental health. Some in this category would come as partners but they do everything to drain you dry. They go for what you cannot afford and make you bite more than you can chew. Please run away from this set of people if you don't want to regret it.
Avoid those who do not listen to what you say. Some in this category do not even want to hear your explanation or your side of the story. Everyone who cares will give you a listening ear and allow you to share your opinion or explanation. When they constantly deny you the freedom of expression, they will end up bringing down your esteem thereby making you question yourself. Every healthy relationship requires healthy communication which is a two-way information flow process. Where someone does not give you a listening ear after you have offered them attention, then avoid them and quit.
7. Jealous people:
Jealous people are friends or families who find it offensive whenever you make a positive step ahead. They are enemies of progress who think they are supposed to be the only ones to see good things. They always want to be like you but in a negative wish. Some jealous individuals can go a long way to stop you from growing above them. Some will pretend as if they care but deep inside, they do not rejoice when you are happy. The problem with jealousy is that it is dangerous and can lead to bitterness and hatred. It also leads to conflicts in family and society.
8. Unhealthy competitors:
What is unhealthy competition? An unhealthy competition is a kind of competition that involves people who do things as a showoff either to impress others or make people feel like they are better than their peers or rivals.
People who are in this kind of social competition would buy whatever they see their rivals buy, they want to do everything to validate themselves at the mercy of the other. Such people want to buy every reigning product, and and clothes and live above their means just to feel relevant over others.
Unhealthy competition is a consequence of jealousy, hatred or peer pressure. It leads to dissatisfaction and bitterness. Do you have friends who engage in unhealthy competition with you? Then you have to think twice about how to stop it or avoid whosoever is forcing you into it.
9. Unsatisfactory individuals:
Avoid anyone in your life who is never satisfied or impressed by what you do. Unsatisfactory people would make you feel like you are not doing enough. They make you feel like you are not husband, wife, or father enough.
Most people in this category are family members or close relatives who think you owe them any responsibility. Anyone who fails to recognize and appreciate the little sacrifices you make will never appreciate the bigger ones so the best way is to avoid them in your life.
As a father, your responsibilities are civic but that does not mean that you are a debtor. In relationships and marriage, lack of satisfaction can lead to unfaithfulness, unhappiness, and divorce. It can also bring pressure that hurts you psychologically, or even lead to a feeling of giving up on everything in life.
When people don't feel you have done enough despite all the efforts you have made, do not feel bad. It is not your fault, it is their fault and their weakness. The only thing you have to do is to stop living to impress them. It is also worthy of note that as a parent, while raising your children, teach them contentment.
10. Perpetual pessimists:
Pessimists are those who never believe in themselves and others. They always see impossibilities and negativity in everything ignoring the positive aspects. Pessimists always expect the worst ignoring the possibility of success. When you have pessimistic people in your life, you are indirectly building a weapon against yourself.
Pessimism kills faith, ruins hope, and promotes negative feelings that are not good for your progress. When they keep on offering you negative suggestions, they are indirectly diverting your thoughts to the negative perspective which in turn kills your morale. If you have good plans, avoid sharing them with pessimists because their advice can only alter all that you have built for years.
The term "frienemy" is used to describe someone who pretends to be a friend by smiling at you while deep within, he/she is a strong enemy. Such people can praise you and make you feel like they care when they truly hate you. The best way to know frienemy is to look for signs of hatred.
Any friend who secretly hates you will manifest those red lights. If you observe that someone is offering you fake love, maybe to gain an advantage, then you are in danger. It is time to avoid them or quit whatever relationship with them. Frienemy are probable traitors and the worst enemies because they have access to your secrets and privacy and also possess the weapon to harm you.
12. Unambitious people:
Do not associate with those who do not have plans or ambitions. These set of people live for the moment and they do not care about tomorrow or what the future holds. For them, tomorrow is always not promising. This kind of mindset gets them into lavishness and extravagant lifestyles. This can as well make them go into crimes and even pose danger to those around them.
People in this category lack dreams and aim for little opportunities. Having such people as partners can ruin your life because they are not there to contribute but to gain from your sweat. Therefore you have to avoid them as much as you can to progress in life.
13. Selfish and self-centered individuals:
Selfish people only care about themselves and their interests. Your relationship with them is all about them and not benefiting you in any way. Such people can do anything to get whatever they want and that alone makes them dangerous. Another reason you have to avoid them is because they can never offer help and support which are important in every relationship.
14. Mr/Mrs. Perfection:
They are also known as Mr./Mrs. Too Right. People in this category do not see anything wrong in what they say or do, instead, you are the bad guy. They assume you don't have any excuse to counter what they say which they believe it's the right way. They hate correction and sometimes see it as an insult. When you have this set of people around you, it can be a difficult association and you have to avoid them.
15. Constant receivers or perpetual parasites:
Parasitic individuals are those in your life who constantly exploit and take advantage of you and your resources without adding value. They only call you when they want to request money and once they do not need anything, you do not matter. People are not supposed to be there just like spectators but as part of your life.
There is joy in seeing friends and family around or hearing from them, that is the value they bring. It is not necessary that someone must offer material things before they remain relevant, but for parasites, the opposite is the case. You are only a good person once they receive but when you do not have, they join the opposing party.
Avoid these sets of people because if your money vanishes, none of them will be there any longer. Love and respect those who can be there in good or bad times, not parasites.
16. Crybabies or complainers:
Avoid people who have too many complaints and reports. They like to push blame and make unnecessary negative reports about other people. Having such people in your life brings disturbance and worries. They can even make you hate those you are supposed to love.
The problem with gossipers is that they cannot keep secrets because their mouths cannot stay tight. They can say what they see and what they have not even seen. One of their attributes is exaggeration. If there are five people, they will report as five hundred to make their story sound nicer and prolonged.
You know gossipers by observing how they talk about others. If someone constantly talks against others and loves to prolong statements, avoid them because just as they told you about others, they will also tell others about you. A good friend can keep secrets and know when and when not to say it.
18. Unforgiving people:
One of the most dangerous people you can think about are those who cannot forgive. They can pretend like they have forgiven you but give you a blow of revenge when you don't expect. A good relationship can only be possible when there is understanding, love and forgiveness. Having an unforgiving person in a family kills the family's happiness and unity. So, if you have anyone who think revenge must always be imminent, then you have to avoid such a person because you are not safe around them. If you are in this category, learn how to forgive others.
19. Violent people:
Violence should not have a place in our society, however, the opposite is the place. Violent individuals can hurt and harm anyone, even their friends and families. For someone of them, every little offence can get out of control. When dealing without a violent person, do not think you are safe because they are living hazards. The best thing to escape their harm is to avoid them.
It is not good to hate anyone but sometimes it is good to avoid making close relationships with some set of people. The reason is that your safety is very important. Not only your safety but your overall well-being. There are people you mingle with and they end up killing your dreams and making you feel like a loser. Therefore, when you meet anyone who belong to any of these categories, either be careful or avoid them totally.