How to Win Any Argument and Settle Non-negotiable DisputesIt is no secret that winning an argument can be a difficult feat to accomplish, but it is not impossible. Through proper preparation, knowledge of the topic, and effective negotiation tactics, you can emerge victorious from any debate.
In this blog post, we will explore and provide some tips and strategies on how to win an argument and negotiate non-negotiable issues. We will discuss the importance of having a well-thought-out strategy, and how to utilize active listening and creative problem-solving to reach an agreement. With these tips, you will be better equipped to confidently and effectively negotiate your way to a successful outcome.
Dan Shapiro (Ph.D.) is a Harvard Negotiator, founder of the Harvard International Negotiation Program, and author of Negotiating the Nonnegotiable: How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts. He is a well-known expert on negotiation and conflict resolution.
During an interview with Big Think, Shapiro uses his negotiating expertise to outline several strategies to communicate effectively during conflicts. Some of his points focus on understanding the core values of the opponent, listening intently to what the opposing side is saying, conveying that you understand your opponent's stance, and finding a common ground to begin your debate in an affiliated and peaceful approach.
"I feel uncomfortable around conflict, but conflict is useful. The question is how do you deal with conflict more effectively?" Shapiro said.
"The problem is not with the what. What are we arguing about? The problem is with the how."
Three Big Barriers to Overcome as Techniques for Effective Conversation to Win Arguments and Resolve Conflicts
1. Identity Recognition
- Who you are.
- what you stand for.
For the identity barrier issues, Shapiro added that it is pertinent to take responsibility for certain values, beliefs, or standpoints which he elaborated on using the figure below as an illustration of certain values people should centralize their stance during conflict:
"When you are in the midst of the conflict, don't talk in the first 10 minutes." Constantly listen.
- What are the values behind their perspective?
- What is their logic, the rationale?
- Why do they hold this perspective?
3. Affiliation Issue
- Present "My opinion versus yours" about the subject in discussion.
- Turn your adversary to your partner so that it is no longer "Me versus You", but "the two of us facing the same shared problem and values".
Audience Opinion on Conflict Resolution
Responding to the interview, a commenter said, "Arguments are the building blocks of the bridge to each other, and never laugh at your opponent, that's disrespectful because the definition of respect is 'acceptance on basis of equality'. So take every opponent seriously. That's all."
In conclusion, winning arguments and negotiating nonnegotiable conflicts amicably is a skill that can be learned and practiced. The Harvard Negotiator, Dan Shapiro, recommendation simply summarizes three techniques to help us do so: listening actively, communicating respectfully, and understanding the other person’s perspective.