Forgiveness, on the other hand, is like medicine. It restores relationships, settles family issues, and heals the society at large. Where forgiveness dominates, there is peace, harmony, and social tranquility.
There would be low rates of divorce, breakups, fighting, war, and hatred if people learned to forgive each other. Unfortunately, our society is overwhelmed by unforgiveness, hatred, and other forms of negative influences that hinder people from relating freely and living peacefully with one another.
This article aims to inspire you with simple tips to build a forgiven heart; a heart that is free from hatred, bitterness, and evil.
Do you find it difficult to forgive people when they offend you? Do you keep malice despite battling to let it go? Do you still hate someone who hurt you a long time ago? This article is for you.
Below are 10 inspiring secrets to help you forgive easily
1. Love one another:
If you allow love to rule your life, it will be easy to forgive. Love is powerful enough to make you ignore offenses. Even the hardest people become soft when they are dealing with people they love. Love everyone around you, with that you will be able to forgive their offenses. Forgiveness is an attribute of true love, and there cannot be love without forgiveness. If you find it difficult to forgive, survey your life, and you will realize that you need love in your heart. If you do not love, your heart would be plagued with unforgiveness and hatred which are not good for your body and mind. Read about why you should not hate others.
2. Create a space in your heart:
Building a forgiving heart does not happen overnight. It is a long-term practice that builds up to become a trait. How you react to offenses depends on how you were brought up, the circumstances around you, the kind of people you associate with, and the kind of teaching or information you receive daily. Many in our society can never forgive. They believe in eye-for-eye and head-for-head.
You do not need to be rigorous while dealing with people around you. It is hard to forgive big offenses, but it can be dangerous to react the way you feel. Your strength is determined by your ability to control situations around you. Of course, you are supposed to rule over your emotions, not the other way round. Do not be in the category of people who say “I can never forgive”. Once you create a space in your heart for forgiveness, it will always be easy to handle offenses when they come.
3. Acknowledge that Offenses are Inevitable:
One of the main reasons people take offenses so seriously is because they think that they are not supposed to be insulted, disobeyed, or blackmailed considering their political or religious positions, professional portfolios, and academic achievements. Some also take offense seriously because it comes from close friends, family members, or people they would not expect. No, you need to know that you can be offended at any time, anywhere, and by anyone including people you know and strangers you know not. No matter the level of your achievements, you are still a human. Once you have this in mind, whenever people offend you, you would be able to consider it as a normal social encounter and that would create a room for forgiveness.
4. Communicate your grievances:
Many people that offend you do not even know that they do. Sometimes ignoring people that offend you is not the way forward.
Create a conducive atmosphere to initiate a cordial conversation and express how offended you feel. In doing so, you would relieve yourself of the burden of bearing malice and find a space to forgive them. Also, most offenders would take correction and apologize if you approach them privately. Even though they fail to apologize, there is a high possibility that they would not offend you in the same manner again.
Failing to communicate your feelings to your partner, friend, colleague, or close associate who offended you is a bad attitude that cannot solve issues. communication is a great key to settling issues and taking someone off your mind.
The major setback to communication is that you may not always have access to communication if strangers offend you; however, it is the best approach when dealing with offenders who are close to you, like your spouse, friends, or family members.
5. Accept human imperfection:
There is no perfect individual on earth. We are all full of faults, setbacks, and behaviors that may offend others around us. By understanding that you are prone to offenses from friends, family, and anyone, you will be able to let things go easily.
6. Make the right judgment:
We offend a lot of people on daily basis, consciously or unbeknownst to us. Sometimes after offending them, we continue our normal relationship pacts. Whenever someone offends you, let your mind rings back to someone else you have offended and circumstances that people forgave you. If anyone had ever forgiven you, then you should find reasons to forgive others.
7. Take the blame:
Sometimes it is good to take the blame. When people offend you, think about the reason they do so. It might be that you are the one that offended them while they only act in response. Bear in mind that you are not always right; even though you are right, you can still choose to be the wrong actor. This is very important in settling family and relationship issues, especially issues between husbands and wives. If you want to always be right, it may affect your relationship with others and close the door to forgiveness. Once you accept your fault, it would be easy for you to take your offenders out of your mind.
8. Be open-minded:
Open-mindedness defines the ability to be unprejudiced, unbiased, accepting, empathetic and receptive. Open-mindedness will help you to still accept people even when they have offended you. An open-minded person reacts, analyses, concludes, settles, and forgives easily. It is better to open up than to be silent in pain. Accept people’s apologies and understand them and their actions.
9. Minimize your egoistic expectation:
Do not expect people to apologize when they offend you or expect them to accept their faults. A lot of people would apologize; good, but many will not accept their wrongdoings. The case here is not about how they act towards you; it is about how you make peace with yourself. When people offend you, accept their apologies, but if they do not apologize, still try to forgive them. Mind you, for people to apologize does not mean that they have repented. Many can apologize and still offend multiple times, over and over again.
10. Forgive yourself:
Self-forgiveness is one of the most important steps to forgiving others. That you take the blame does not mean that you should inflict yourself with regrets. No, the fault is not yours. You were not foolish to have acted nice to people. If people repay you with evil for the good things you did for them, do not blame yourself to have been kind. When your sacrifice in your marriage or relationship does not pay, do not think you were foolish. Even though you feel the weight of the blame, forgive yourself and think about the way forward. To take the blame does not mean that you deserve the blame.
In conclusion, forgiving others is one of the keys to having peace of mind and leading a happy life. Failure to forgive others can create a burden you would not like to bear and lead you into wrong decision makings. Irrespective of how offended you feel, always find space for forgiveness. You also need to know simple anger management tips to help you in dealing with hateful anguish.
You can also read about how to avoid hatred.