Getting Over a Breakup: 12 Things You Should Never Do After Heartbreak

Heartbreak is a tough experience that is hard to get over, at least for many people. The main challenge associated with a breakup occurs when one of the parties in the relationship is not prepared for such an ugly experience.

The pain people have during a breakup is not only because of what they stand to lose but because during courtship, people create intimate bonds that involve their emotions. The ability to sever such emotional attachment is a great deal that leads to worries, pains, anxiety, or even extreme behaviors in the process of trying to get over it. Even when there are several ways to cope with a breakup, many still find themselves choosing to handle their experience negatively, either consciously or unconsciously.

While we offer resources on the best approaches to dealing with heartbreak, it is also important to know certain actions and behaviors to be mindful of your experience of breakup and trying to get over it.

Things You Shouldn't Do After Heartbreak 

1. Taking your life: Heartbreak can bring extreme emotions that are hard to bear. The inability to control such emotions and the negative thoughts they bring can result in suicide attempts. Some people have taken their lives just because someone told them "It's over".

A study by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention and the University of Georgia, originally published in the American Journal for Preventive Medicine, shows that 1 in 5 suicide cases or ideation in the United States was associated with a breakup. These statistics seem to align with other global data, expressing how people choose to end their lives for love.

Men's mental health is affected most by heartbreak but suicide ideation between both male and female genders is high, especially among teens and those who already show signs of depression. Therefore while trying to get over a breakup, ensure you avoid suicidal thoughts.

2. Taking your ex-partner's life: Relationship misunderstandings associated with heartbreak and cheating in relationships are some of the major causes of gender-based violence globally.

You don't own your partner, of a truth, you don't own anyone or any life. People stay around you because they find the need to love and care about you. When they are no longer interested, they have the right to leave with their lives. It's a great mistake to harm or kill someone because they broke your heart or because they seek a breakup.

3. Thinking too much: A lot of to-and-fro thoughts and confusion often set in after a breakup. Continuously allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by thoughts and deep emotions can affect your mental health, and may result in depression. When you experience heartbreak, you have to get over it by keeping yourself busy and distracted from too many thoughts.

4. Not moving forward: Letting go and forgetting about the past is the best thing to do whenever you experience a great loss like a breakup. Continuously dragging yourself into a relationship that has ended does not help matters, instead, it drags you backward. Instead of holding on to this, focus more on your self-care.

5. Failing to forgive: Always try to forgive yourself and others irrespective of whatever they did to you. You can't heal yourself unless you heal your heart. The only way your heart and soul can fully move on from your negative experience resulting from the breakup is for you to forgive.

Forgiving does not mean that you need to remain in contact with your ex, but it's about letting it go and getting over it instead of wishing them bad or planning revenge.

6. Taking the person who broke your heart as your enemy: An unforgiving heart is full of hate. Whenever you are in a relationship always know that you and your partner think differently and can make independent decisions. He/she might have used or hurt you but do not take that as an excuse to hate. 

Hatred is detrimental to you and the society at large. Avoid every form of hate or act of enmity and try to get over your heartbreak.

7. Going back to the relationship: The probability that things will work better if you go back to your former partner is very little. It doesn't, or maybe, it rarely happens. The best time to settle issues in a relationship is when things have not escalated to the point of breakup pronouncement.

After heartbreak, the chance of trusting each other again is very narrow. Therefore, instead of getting hurt a second time after you have healed from the initial impact of the heartbreak, you shouldn't go back to the relationship. Both of you can still decide to reunite based on how it happened, but be sure of the reason for your odd decision and ensure you communicate well with your partner before making a step.

8. Allowing your past heartbreak to affect your current relationship life: Those who have had the worst experiences in their past relationships seem to keep that memory even in their new relationships. In that case, such individuals find it hard to commit to their new relationships because they have failed to get over the past.

Letting your past heartbreak experience affect your current relationship is wrong. People are different, you only need to be more attentive and smart.

9. Taking the pains of heartbreak into your marriage: The worst that can happen is when you take the breakup experience you had into your marriage. This is happening in many marriages today.

While most men can let go easily after years, women who have sacrificed so much in their past relationships may even take their pains into marriage. In this case, marrying such an individual unknowingly can be draining. Try as much to get over your past for you to have a successful marriage and a happy family.

10. Allowing heartbreak to shape you negatively: Do not allow your breakup experience to shape who you truly are. If you were nice, keep being nice. Every encounter in life is an experience and how you harness that experience depends on you. It's about you getting over your breakup experience instead of wallowing in it.

11. Begging the person that broke your heart to take you back: Someone tells you "It's over", and you begin to cry and beg. Fine. There is nothing wrong if the whole thing is your fault. The issue is for you to beg after the person has failed to accept your initial apology.

Once the whole breakup process is complete, work more on healing and getting over it instead of repairing the damaged relationship unless it's worth it.

12. Becoming misogynistic or misandry: Developing hatred for a certain gender just because you experience heartbreak is a bad attitude.

That a woman offended you does not make all women bad, and the fact that a man broke your heart does not make all men evil. Those words are hasty generations. Bad character is not defined by gender but by the individuals involved.

The rise in gender-based bigotry and hatred like 'extreme' feminism and misogynism is a consequence of many factors one of which is a wrong encounter with the wrong male figure.

Conclusion: Heartbreak is a norm in our society today. Millions around the globe experience it annually. While the relationship goes on smoothly, do not undermine the possibility of the bitter side of it. And at most when a breakup occurs, never you allow it to make you do what you are not supposed to do.

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