13 Possible Reasons Your Wife Disrespects You: how to Handle the Situation

How men understand love is different from how women define it. For most women, a man is loving when he is caring, responsible and sweet to be with. However, for most men, respect is one of the major elements of love. When a partner keeps harassing a man or disrespecting him, he automatically knows he is into something to worry about. Traditionally, it is hard to express love to a man and make him believe in your love if you do not respect him. Respect is one of the main gifts every man expects from a partner as a sign of love.

Even without gender bias, for marriage to be smooth, mutual respect is very import. When there is not respect between partners, then something is seriously going wrong. For instance, one of the most obvious signs that a woman does not care any longer about the marriage or relationship is disrespect towards the man. 

You don't only respect someone because he/she deserves it. Respect is an element of love, regard, value and personal integrity. In other words, you can respect someone because respect is a virtue, and you are someone with high values and integrity, not just about the person you are respecting. This makes respect very important in marriage, especially toward your husband (as a woman). For a man, respect toward a wife is not a big deal, it is not even a subject to talk about. The reason is that a man's love comes with care and concern over the woman's emotion.

Why Your Wife Disrespects You and how to Handle the Situation

Maybe you have been wondering why your wife suddenly begins to disrespect you, it might not be what you think. It takes some care to really understand why someone suddenly changes behavior, especially when the person refuses to give an answer.

These are the possible reasons your wife disrespects you and what to do to get your respect back:

1. You are not taking on your responsibilities

Men are traditionally expected to take on certain responsibilities either as father, husband or just for being a man. As a husband, you owe your wife a lot of responsibilities and have some roles to play in the lives of your children. Where you cannot be responsible either deliberately or due to circumstances, there is chance that people will begin to disrespect you, including your wife. The unfortunate part is that even responsible men can be disrespected, especially when a wife's expectation is high. Therefore when a wife that used to love and respect you so much begins to insult you all the time, find time to judge yourself if you are up to the tasks and see how you can make things right. With this approach, you can regain your respect.

"The worst thing any man can do is for his wife to be the bread winner of the family. It does not only take your place as a man, it is a great insult to your personality unless you are sick or dead." 

Women easily become fed-up with responsibilities that are not theirs. An average woman believes that it is not her duty to provide for the family. Women prefer to offer support instead of being the driving force in the family. If you ever lose your place to your wife, your respect is gone forever. 

2. Your wife's family history or cultural background

Besides genetic inheritance, our parents or people we grow-up with greatly influence our lifestyles and belief system. Most people learned how to cook and home caring from their parents. Likewise, our marital life can greatly be influenced by how our parents treat themselves. Only those who invest in self-improvement and exposed to external influence are able to live above their home training and experience. If your wife is from a home whose mother used to disrespect or harass the father, there is a high chance of her having a similar behavior. Same applies to a man.

In addition, some culture influence marriage and family values greatly. In most African culture, a wife is expected to not only respect the husband but, submit. In the Western society, couples are more like partners working together and having equal right, not a relationship where one person dominates.

The right way to end this kind of insult associated with family or cultural background is to prevent it by marrying into a honorable home or a culture that you can understand. Even if you have already made the mistake, in order to get your respect back, be patient and keep making her realize her lifestyle is hurting you. If she truly values you and the relationship, she will change with time.

3. You don't have money

We cannot underestimate the value of money in sustaining a healthy relationship. In fact, for you to even be responsible, you need money. The idea of love from a woman's perspective goes beyond cuddling, it involves giving and that requires money. Although there are many women that can still respect your position as a husband, but others might get tired of your wretched life and begin to disrespect you. It is sad to marry someone who is materialistic, but you have already entire the life that you've found yourself. The best way to bring a change to such a disrespectful wife is for you to change your financial status. Find a new job, learn a skill, get a side hustle or start a business. There are tips that help you know the right business to do to get your respect back.

4. You tolerate insults

From the moment anyone disrespects or harass you, it is better to take action. This will make them to be careful next time they think about insulting you. Once you tolerate insults from your wife, the level of harassment you will get from her will keep increasing day-by-day until it gets to a level you cannot bear. You don't stop your wife from insulting you by beating her, that will be the worst thing to do. Instead, show disgust toward her disrespectful attitude; she might begin to respect you again.

5. Your conjugal incapability

Consummation is well known as one of the major tests to know if marriage will work. Even after consummation, maintaining the tempo as the marriage progresses is vital as well. Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the greatest cause of disasters in marriage. Besides leading to infidelity, it can cause bad mood and misbehavior.

One of the factors to determine if you are compatible with someone for marriage is intimacy. No matter the level of love, if this aspect is not going properly, it becomes a serious problem that can lead to disrespect, unfaithfulness or even divorce. It is therefore good for partners to ask each other questions and get to know how one another feels during intimacy to keep things going. Realizing that your wife is disrespecting and getting upset with you because you are not satisfactory (good on bed), can help you seek medical solution to your problem to regain your respect and your place as a man.

6. She can no more tolerate your misbehavior

Certain behaviors can attract insult. If you are the one constantly disrespecting and harassing her, it can get to a point she would retaliate. Once the time for retaliation comes, it takes a lot for you to escape her insult. Therefore, beating up your wife or bad-mouthing her does not help your marriage to grow, it turns out against you in the long run. Sometimes, you might even face regretful consequences at old age. In order to get back your respect, monitor and contain your behavior and how you treat her.

7. She has found another man

Even if you are a very good and honorable person, once the woman in your life finds another man, she cannot respect you again. Unlike men, women cheat with emotion. Only a few women can cheat without emotional attachment. In fact, for your wife or partner to cheat means that she does not respect you any longer. Should you discover that her disrespect is because she is cheating, then you have to behave like a man and take the right decision. The truth is that you cannot get your respect back once this had taken place. The best way to get your respect back when your wife disrespects you because she has found another man is for you to make yourself a better person and let her have your way.

8. She has lost interest in that marriage or relationship

When there is no more interest, the attitude would surely be affected. Without interest people don't care about what happen, so they can do anything and say anything. Lost of interest in marriage can result from a collection of many factors. Therefore, it takes energy to term the situation. You can only get your respect back from your wife if you can get to the root of the issue and settle it. Otherwise, good luck!

How to get respect back from your wife

9. You cheat too much on her

People always say that "men are polygamous in nature," making some men, even married ones to cheat on their partners without considering how the wife feels. It is easier for a woman to forgive a cheating husband, but once she is fed-up with your unfaithfulness, disrespect will set in. Some women can go a long way to cheat as well, and that will be the end of the story of you are a true husband. You have to be the first to respect yourself by not cheating on your wife to avoid harassment. If your infidelity is the reason your disrespects you, find a time to apologize and let her feel your sincerity, then repent to get back her respect.

10. You lack principles and boundaries

Any man without principles and boundaries can be treated anyhow by anyone including his wife. People that are close to you should be able to know your personality which include your boundaries and life principles. Once anyone, including your wife realizes that you are not a principles individual, insult, harassment, and many other bad manners against you are inevitable. To get respect, you need to have boundaries, set principles and values and let people who get close to you know that your are a principled person.

11. You are too nice

"It is good to be a good person than to be a nice person." - Abas Obot

A good person behaves well, set principles, live by morals and take on his civic responsibilities. For anyone in our society today to call you "a nice person," it means you are someone who swallows offenses, try to please people, live to people's expectation and stays gentle with smooth talks, even at the expense of yourself. Those might sound cool but it actually opens you up to a lot of negative treatments including insult, harassment, abandonment and emotional blackmail.

Some women see nice guys as not being smart. Trying to give everything your wife asks for and doing whatever she says even when such requests are bad ones does not help you. It opens route for her to keep crossing boundaries which include insulting you. To gain respect from your wife, treat her very kind and let her know your identity as a caring and loving husband but not a robot.

12. You are not man enough

Being man enough is a complex term. It involves being responsible, protective, authoritative and acting like a man. Also, some characters are thought to be masculine such as avoiding quarrel or direct confrontation with your wife and showing her the love that she deserves.

"Every responsible woman is proud of a husband who leads not the ones that can be easily controlled."

In order to stop your wife from continuously insulting you, it is important for you to try to change your behaviors, think and act as a man. Women hate it when a man has feminine behaviors.

13. You are just annoying to her:

Women like using the statement that a man is just annoying. Such statement can be ambiguous or just inability to identify a possible cause of annoyance. When a woman feels this way towards you, many things can be the cause which include some of the things we have listed here, mood swing or lost of interest. A wife who finds you annoying will disrespect and feel uncomfortable around you.


Respect is a reciprocal. Everyone deserves respect, hence, you have to respect yourself and others to get a lasting respect that you need. Nonetheless, you as a husband deserve respect from your wife or partner. Where your partner begins to talk to you anyhow without considering how your feel, one or more of these could be the possible reason.

Note: This article is response to an email from one of our readers. You can message us for a solution, mentorship or coaching. Use the contact us link or email inspiredscoop@gmail.com
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